Crash Anaylsis: BIG ASS SPIDER (2013)

A Big Ass Blast!

Horror/comedy at its creature-feature best

Mike Mendez, the man behind the often overlooked THE GRAVEDANCERS (2006), maxresdefaultwhich is one of the best of the “Films to Die For” series, brings us BIG ASS SPIDER a horror/comedy of immense, eight-legged proportions.

Alex Mathis (Greg Grunberg) is an exterminator who just can’t seem to enjoy his day off. After helping out an old lady in need of pest removal, he’s bitten by a brown recluse spider and ends up in the emergency room. But he’s better off than the dead guy who just rolled in – which leads to the spawning of a very special arachnid. And this is just the beginning of our hero’s quest as he sets out to save Los Angeles and win the day.

While watching BIG ASS SPIDER my wife, Ally said she hadn’t heard me laugh that loud in a long damn time. That’s because Gregory Gieras nailed the idiosyncratic dialogue and brought the comedy in fantastic ways. Better still, there was a laugh a minute.

Grunberg delivers as the snarky, sarcastic side commentary guy who’s neither a wimp nor a wallflower. He comes fully loaded with the confidence to be the man of the hour, and regardless of obstacles, presses on. His “Mexican Robin” sidekick is the equally awesome Lombardo Boyer who plays Jose Ramos – the security guard devoid of the stereotypical rent-a-cop trappings. Together, this two-man crew is out to prove to the military that an exterminator, with his trusted partner, can bring down a spider monster without launching sidewinders from fighters in the city of angels. But Major Braxton Tanner, played straight by the always amazing Ray Wise, which creates its own level of hilarity (think Slim Pickens in DR. STRANGELOVE), won’t take orders from a blue collar like Alex. Even his number one, Lieutenant Karly Brandt (Clare Kramer) pays little heed to any of Alex’s pleas or demands – because she’s cocked, and locked, and ready to rock.

And this is the best thing about BIG ASS SPIDER – no weak-minded characters. All of them are strong and ready for action, which leads to conflict because all comers think they have the best solution to their monster-sized dilemma. It was especially wonderful to see a strong female character in Lt. Brandt that didn’t need to be “transformed” to face up to the challenge. Even Jose stepped up into his role as if he refused to play second fiddle.

The only weak spot some have noted is the CGI. It seems as if all the money went into the spider, and the rest is akin to something from the Syfy Channel. But the low budget CGI actually caters to the comedy, as if a nod of nostalgia to the cheesy B-movie monster films of the fifties.

The comedy is fabulous and the horror is more about a BIG ASS SPIDER than gore or jump scares. Even so, Mike Mendez’s movie is a non-stop entertaining treat and highly recommended. In fact, I’d love to see a triple feature with BIG ASS SPIDER, SLITHER, and GRABBERS. Now that would be a creature-feature frenzy of epic proportions.

4 out of 5 stars

(Photo from You Tube.)

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