Crash Analysis: PIRANHA (2010)

A mixed bag of chum

Prehistoric piranhas unleashed into an Arizona lake and feast on swimmers.

Wow. This is a tongue in cheek horror/comedy loaded with unintelligence, impossibilities and insconsistent special effects.

Originally shot in 3D – the latest Hollywood gimmick – the movie’s teeth infested fish simply look pathetic and are distracting in their cartoonish looks. Actually, the 3D elements weren’t added to the movie until afterwards, which is a strong indicator that either the conversion process is substandard or that the special effects crew weren’t good enough for the job. And I’m sure they did the poorly executed opening with Richard Dreyfuss. Once again, the special effects were distracting because it was abundantly clear that they were fake and looked appalingly childish.

The one star award does, however, go to the make-up special effects crew. This film is bloody and gorey with torn flesh, guts, missing limbs and missing faces. These special effects were remarkable and often downright phenomenal. After all, renowned special effects makeup artist, Greg Nicotero was the makeup effects supervisor, so it’s obvious why the quality was so incredibly high. (You can see Greg’s work in countless films including: MULHOLLAND DRIVE, THE BOOK OF ELI, SIN CITY, PULP FICTION, WISHMASTER and dozens upon dozens more.)

If you want a laugh and want to immerse yourself in a laughable bloodfest, have at it. Hell, I watched it twice. Then again, I just couldn’t turn away from Nicotero’s phenomenal gags that are outrageous – in the best sense of the word.

1 out of 5 stars

Spoiler:

I’m not sure what the hell these prehistoric fish trapped under a lake were eating, but I do know one thing: The stupid rescue of the kids from the sinking boat was ridiculous. The guy at the helm would have to keep the engine running to constantly move forward to keep the line taught, but he didn’t. And to have a group of four go across the line at once is beyond stupid. It wouldn’t have worked and made absolutely no sense. Then again, the movie was loaded with illogical happenings, and because of the comedy element, it just didn’t matter.

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